How divorce affects adult children

Love for A Lifetime

If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then? Galatians 5:15 (MSG)

Psychologist Judith Wallerstein[i] followed a group of children of divorce from the 1970s into the 1990s. She interviewed them at 18 months, and then five, ten, fifteen and twenty-five years after their parents’ divorce, expecting to find that they had bounced back. But what she found was dismaying: Even 25 years after the divorce, these children continued to experience substantial expectations of failure, fear of loss, fear of change and fear of conflict. They were especially challenged when they began to form their own romantic relationships. As she explains, “Contrary to what we have long thought, the major impact of divorce does not occur during childhood or adolescence. Rather, it rises in adulthood as serious romantic relationships move center…

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